chasin

“if u dont love me, somebody else will. so dont u ever get too comfortable” - lil wayne

the honeymoon stage is always WONDERFUL. butterflies at the sight of his name on ur phone, that giddy-i’m-a-little-girl feeling everytime he says ur name, and the euphoric lets-get-lifted “love” fills the air. he goes out of his way to do any and everything to be with u and the little things are always taken into account. “like a shot of hennessey, honey he chasin u.” - rae rosero

andd thennnn that shit gets old. and all of a sudden everything he does is fucking annoying the shit outta u and u can’t STAND another second and ur plotting how to smother him with ur pillow when he’s sleeping. the muthafucka actin like ur pussy got an expiration date and shit and lets himself go and barely has the time to text you good morning let alone take ur ass out.

so.. what the fuck happened? the chase is over and he is no longer paying u any mind. and then we get all upset but say we arent but we really are and we start resenting the guy cuz his ass SHOULD JUST KNOW, right?

wrong.

i been with my husband for 7 years and i’d like to believe that we still keep shit interesting so lemme just share some tips on how to keep each other interested after the honeymoon phase has gone to shit.

for the ladies:

1. COMMUNICATE - and i dont mean anything along the lines of nagging, or bitching cuz TRUST that shit goes in one ear and out the other. i actually mean communicating. when ur upset, let him know. when something bothers u… speak on it. the only way to fix things is to keep the line of commication open or else u’ll find urself blowing up over the stupidest shit and then ur the one who looks like the crazy bitch.

2. HE AIN’T EDWARD CULLEN. and this is such blasphemy coming from the biggest twihard on the planet but ur dude aint a knight in shining armor. he has not come into ur life to fix everything that is broken with u. he aint a basketball player, or a prince, or a rapper. he’s just an ordinary dude who you love so get over the illusion of what u want him to be and accept him for who he is. realize what’s real and what he actually has to offer u cuz it should suit u just fine.

3. KNOW YOURSELF. if u dont know urself.. if u aint right within u, then please dont expect a man to even try and know u. i get it. we women. we complicated as fuck. but how are we ever gonna try and give any of ourselves to someone if we cant get it right in our own head. get ur mind right and then share it. cuz it dont work the other way around. as soon as we get to the point of RESPECT for ourselves, then we can begin to respect someone else as a whole. and only then, is respect is reciprocated fully.

4. LEARN HOW TO BE FLEXIBLE. there aint nobody exactly like u. (how boring would that be dating urself anyways?) so instead of picking and critisizing the differences between u and him, learn to love them and accept them and learn from them. i promise you, you will be a much better person if u allow urself to be open instead of wishing he were different. be his rock and he’ll be the same for you.

5. STOP ASSUMING. and this goes hand in hand with number 1. i know as women we swear like we know everything and we’d bet our first born child that we know what our men is thinking. but real talk, we dont. u have to understand the psyche of a man and realize that they do not have the ability to mind read (like my man Edward Cullen). so stop assuming he knows that ur upset and that he knows why cuz i promise he dont. dont assume he’ll do something cuz ur last bf did cuz they two different people. assumptions lead to miscommunication and then disappointment so if u dont have any ointment for that butthurt, stop assuming shit. if u dont know, ASK. if ur unsure if he gets it, SPEAK. lead by example, and he’ll follow.

6. LET HIM BE UR BF(F). if u ever wana get to that place with him u gotta let him be there for u. if u cant talk to him about ur problems, then why the fuck u guys together? stop yappin ur bizness to ur girlfriends and take ur shit strait to the source. i mean, thats what girlfriends are for, but i promise u that we get tired of hearing about how much of an asshole he is, and then watch as u sit there and do nothing about it. man the fuck up and let him be ur man. $10 says he dont even know u mad. (and again, see #1)

for the fellas, i only got two words of advice for you:

1. PAY ATTENTION. i cannot stress this enough that its the little things that fucking matter. u complain that we always naggin and bitchin but thats only cuz u dont hear shit until the 10th time we’ve said it! put the ps3 controller down, turn the porn off, pause the fucking Raider game (thats what they made dvr for anyways), and just pay attention. u aint foolin nobody tellin me u can multitask. that tv got u in tunnel vision and u dont even notice we’re in ur favorite lace bra and panty set. and i KNOW that video game dont give u a raging boner like ur lady does so give her some respect. if u hear her say she cravin chocolate, bring her favorite kind and ur pogi points will soar thru the roof! trustttt! this aint game its just common sense! (i could write a whole fucking book about this shit but ima cut it short cuz im sure u get the picture)

2. SPEAK ON IT. please give us more feedback than “yeah”, “uh huh” and “thats cool”. let us know that we lookin extra fly today. tell me that uve noticed my waist getting thinner. let me know that you heard me so i dont have to repeat myself. this goes back to item #1 for the ladies… communication is KEY. and even if u aint the kinda guy thats GOOD at getting ur point accross, all u gotta do is try. u do not have a mute button so please make use of ur vocal chords and let us know!

and ta-muthafuckin-da. “u dont have to be perfect love, as long as ur willing to learn” - estelle. its all a learning process… but as long as u put in some effort, it will be noticed and reciprocated… and then ur happy asses can be all caked and shit and live happily ever after. the end.

* couldn't have said it myself, for sure, this is so good.

say it do it

“guys and girls are only FRIENDS because the girl keeps it that way.” - James P.

u know those guys… the ones that u date that automatically assume ur fuckin around with EVERY guy u say hi to? those insecure guys who give every human born with a penis the evil eye as soon as u introduce him as your “friend”. the guys that are too paranoid that they go into ur phone and delete ever number attached with a masculine name. all the while, this same guy is takin out his homegirl to dinner cuz she just broke up with her man. ummm… WHAT?

why is it, that men cannot seem to fathom the idea that men and women can just be friends? or wait.. lemme rephrase that. they cannot comprehend the idea of their girlfriend having a platonic relationship with another man.

ok ok, sometimes guys are too much. and sometimes they swear their game is tight and we’ll just get swept off our feet. and sometimes they’re a little too agressive when they know they need to just back the fuck off. but has it ever occured to you gentlemen that we, as your women, will sometimes ALWAYS know when to put our foot down. that when another man says that we’re pretty, us saying “thank you” does not translate to “lets have sex.” that we dress up to go out, not to impress anyone else, but so that we don’t waste the pretty. “If you don’t want men calling your girlfriend pretty - date someone ugly.” - Hayati

male/female platonic relationships are possible. they are real, and they happen everyday.. and although in some cases, one person wants more out of the relationship than the other, most of the time when she says he’s just a friend, HE’S REALLY JUST A FRIEND.

and i know it goes both ways and we already know there are some scandalous ass females out there but this blog isnt about that.. we dont go around calling every woman in ur phone book askin her how she know u and if u guys have dated now do we? (or well.. i dont, at least)

and its crazy how that intro quote was said by a man.. cuz they swear we have all the power. and WE DO! we say no and we say when to go. (i swear having a vag badge puts u on top of the world).. but fellas can’t u TRUST ur women to do the right thing by you? we aint as shady as u’d like to believe. i promise.

so guys.. ease up on ur lady please! not only do u look crazy and insecure, but it brings ur pogi points down by at least 5. remember, ur still the one dickin her down at night. RELAX or you’ll head from “boyfriend” to “just a friend” in no time.

* whoa tell me like it is. this is a good and realistic read.

word x 89

www.whatthehellz.com

the fuss

hmmm, what to do?
i'm wiser than before,
that i know.
but what to do?

where do you spend your time and effort?
and you can hope that whatever situation you're investing in is ... not has, but is worth your good while.
or you can just let go.
but chances are you're going to consider all the risks.
then you're going to regret.

play safe?
i don't know.
i rather not in a way,
but i'll keep in the back of my mind, indefinitey.

blah blah blah

* i sang for real today. and it was so intense and new for me. what an experience. I have so many vocal techninques that i've learned that i have fully realized i dont know what is my own voice. I have trained for so many years to adapt to certain styles. but to be able to openly express myself as in art has been quite the experience.

* work is always fun. a little 3 year old asked me if i missed my mom with sincerity and it was the sweetest thing ever. i love watching them grow or how they act or react to things that have been said and done. you only get to see such things at that age, and i enjoy those little tweaks and kicks that these toddlers have.

less than 2 weeks until my ma comes home. let's party.

good?

whether things are bad, what are you gonna do about it?
how worthy is this situation.
and how do you tolerate your emotional anger
to compensate what needs to be resolved
but along the process the solution becomes almost unconventional.
to the point where you cannot even break it down for the intial reasons.
now there is more than what is being said.
behind the words, you really really mean something else.
and when you can admit to such bravery
how valuable is the outcome to you.
what is it going to do for you.
was it worth it?

?

it's that little hunch that you can't put your finger on it.
but you felt different
and you also thought different for a split second.
it was strange, it still is strange.
but it's something else alright.
but in conclusion to this absurd thought on it, i'm planning to do absolutely nothing about it.
for now ...

and how do you know what's good for you.
they say when it feels like it's not steady.
you're on the ball.

so many contradictions in life.
but im good to go for them.

blah blah blah again,
goodnight

mary go around - musiq